In our previous article on ‘Why Do We Get Angry’, we successfully, based on scientific researches, identified the functioning of the brain and its processing of certain emotions which drive anger. Understanding anger, as I stated earlier, is the first step. Without understanding or awareness, we can’t gather clear motivation to take the next step. Knowing what we know now, it is important that we use our knowledge, and learn on to control our anger. Before we get there, let’s establish why should we control our anger in the first place. This is because only when the advantages of choosing an evolved reaction make sense, would anybody be inclined to take the necessary steps.
Though it may sound like common sense, it is important that we remember that managing anger is not just important, but in certain individual cases a necessary mechanism to survive. Anger causes headaches, anxiety, depression, and increases chances of a heart attack. According to Chris Aiken, MD, an instructor in clinical psychiatry at the Wake Forest University School of Medicine and director of the Mood Treatment Center in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, “In the two hours after an angry outburst, the chance of having a heart attack doubles”[Source: www.everydayhealth.com]. Managing, guiding, and controlling anger can then become a serious issue concerning someone’s life and death.
To serve this vital cause, I have identified 9 Proven Secrets to Win Over Your Anger. As you read further, it is my humble request that you not only understand, but implement the following easy-to-use techniques. Doing so will guarantee a healthy life and loads of happiness for you and your loved ones :). The 9 techniques are:
Meditation is that oldest and most effective technique in so many ways whose value in today’s information world is priceless. With the internet, and the ‘everything now’ culture, our patience levels have dropped drastically igniting more irritation and anger within us when things get delayed or don’t go as planned. Mediation helps to enhance our focus, increase our brain functionality, and clears our mind which assists us in staying calmer which in turn reduces anger bursts. If you are looking for any good books on meditation, you can find them here.
2. Read Great Books and Listen to Meaningful Audios:
Carrying on from the first point, reading books like Stephen Covey’s ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People’ or Robin Sharma’s ‘The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari’, and/or shredding a few bucks for their audio versions is a great investment. Such life-transforming books and audios have the power to elevate our lives to something really powerful. We just need to ensure that no matter what sort of people, circumstances, and things surround us, we are committed to at least 30 minutes of reading or listening of self-help material daily.
3. Tune Into Some Good News:
I am positive that most of you have at least one newspaper subscription that you receive at your home or office, or you come across (even when you don’t want to) some current affair news online almost everyday. I say it’s good to watch news, and keep yourself updated with the happenings in the world. But besides a couple important news for the day, is it important for you to know what Kim Kardashian did today or what is Ben Affleck’s relationship status? Why not watch the good news? If you are going to watch and read some news any which ways, then why not the news of an underprivileged kid securing a job with a multinational through sheer hard work? What about the best working cultures in corporates around the world to keep their employees motivated? All I am saying is, if you value your life and hate being angry, focus on the good stuff!
Journaling in simple words is recording the happenings of your daily life in a summary. Journaling is an underrated tool which holds immense power to help you ease out your emotions with a few minutes of writing or typing, and is definitely high on my list to fight anger. I rather put all my anger on paper than throw it out on someone and later regret it. Do not discount the value of this magical tool. If you like to gain more knowledge on how to practice and journal effectively, click here.
5. Eating, Chilling, and Working Right:
Yes, it’s that simple. The truth, as you might have heard, is what you eat, whom you hangout with, and what you do in your work life has the biggest impact on who you are. If you eat junk food, hang out with angry people, and have a job just to pay your bills, chances our small issues become big in your life, you lose your temper quiet easily, and you are not very happy with yourself, your spouse or family members, and are losing it further day by day. Stop it! Change your lifestyle; move in to a new spectrum. Eat better, hangout with quality people who not only have a great career in their chosen jobs, professions, and businesses, but have great family and personal relationships. Some of it has to rub off on you. Also, when you show up to work the next time, know why you are there, and how you are making a difference. If you don’t know yet, my next point will provide you some guidance.
6. Find Your Purpose, and Then Dedicate Your Life to Accomplishing it:
A life without purpose is as good as a ship without the compass. Lewis Carroll once said “If you don’t know where you are going, any road will take you there.” Though it may sound offbeat, but one of our major frustrations in life arises from not knowing what we want to do with it. This can result in loss of patience, frustration, and periodic bursts of anger. Imagine if you left on a ship where the captain didn’t know where he was taking you, what direction was the destination in, and what is the whole purpose of even having you on the ship, will you trust him to take you where you want to go? If you can’t trust him, how do you expect to trust yourself, and navigate the storms along the way? You got to have a plan, prepare to win, and thus, when frustrations, irritations and situations of anger burst arise, you will be better prepared to fight them and win.
I have said it many times, and will say it again: Exercise; go hit the gym, do yoga, go for a run, go swimming or trekking or mount climbing. Sweat and get your body in motion. You may come out of your workout trying to remember what were you so angry about in the first place?
8. Smile Without Reason:
Have you ever ran into a stranger who had a broad smile on his face and stared right at you in your eyes with humbleness. What was your automatic reaction? Chances are it was a smile back :). You might have heard Phyllis Diller’s famous words ”Smile is that curve which sets everything straight.” So, why not practice it more often? What does it cost you? How much effort does it really need? Do you actually need a reason to smile? For one day, just greet everybody you come across with a smile. I bet, your world will turn upside down for good, and you will feel fabulous. Even those around you (including the angry ones), will get a rub-off. This coincidentally connects to the last technique on how to control your anger which is by doing something good everyday.
9. Serve One Good Cause Everyday:
Have you been fortunate enough to help an old handicap person cross the road or guide some stranger with directions upon request? Have you ever had a chance to donate blood or give food away to the one in need? How did you feel post stretching your helping hand? Though it’s tough to exactly put it in words, I am pretty sure it felt damn good. If you commit to performing just one such activity everyday, you would have accomplished 365 good deeds by the end of the year. Alas, I am confident that over time it will have a positive impact on your anger management.